The Narcissist and The Empath: A Toxic Attraction
vemuda.com - Have you ever wondered why empaths and narcissists are drawn to each other? After all, these personalities are polar opposites. The narcissist has an inflated sense of self-worth and a big ego. They believe that they’re entitled to whatever they want and that everyone should do exactly as they say.
|Source: unsplash.com by Josh Calabrese|
The empath, on the other hand, is highly sensitive to other people’s feelings and needs. And they often have a strong desire to help others and to make them happy.
So, what happens when these two types of people get together And what makes this relationship so toxic? Let’s find out!
1. The Narcissist’s False Self Meets the Empath’s True Self
The narcissist and the empath are two people who are initially drawn to each other because they have different ways of perceiving reality.
The narcissist has a false sense of self. They don’t understand what it feels like to be vulnerable, to feel empathy for others, or to be able to express their feelings freely.
In contrast, the empath has a high level of sensitivity and emotional intelligence. They are compassionate and vulnerable individuals.
Empaths are often attracted to narcissists because they are drawn to their energy and charisma, and narcissists have a way of making people feel special or unique in some way when they first meet them.
And since empaths are emotionally vulnerable people, narcissists tend to seek them out so they can easily manipulate them.
They also tend to gravitate toward these individuals because they can use them as a source of fuel for their own ego.
2. The Empath is a People Pleaser, The Narcissist is a People User
An empath is someone who cares deeply about others and tries to please them in order to feel like they belong in the world. They tend to be very thoughtful individuals.
A narcissist cares only about themselves and uses other people to get what they want whether it’s attention, money, or whatever else might be useful at any given time.
These two types of people can get along when it suits the narcissist; but this relationship can turn sour quickly when the narcissist doesn’t get exactly what they want.
3. The Empath Takes Responsibility for Their Own Behavior, The Narcissist Blames Everyone Else
Empaths tend to believe that the world is inherently good, and that everyone is doing their best. They take responsibility for their own behavior and ask themselves what they did wrong when something goes south.
But narcissists blame everyone but themselves for any problems in their lives and often try to make other people feel guilty about it. This is why an empath can feel like they’re walking on eggshells.
They constantly try to avoid upsetting the narcissist and they just want to make them happy, but it never seems to be enough. This causes the empath’s self-esteem to plummet, while the narcissist feels even more superior.
4. Narcissistic Love Is Conditional and Self-Serving, Empathic Love Is Unconditional and Selfless
When it comes to love, we all want the same thing: to feel like we belong and are connected to someone. But some people have learned a different way of getting that feeling, and it’s not always healthy.
Narcissistic love is conditional and self-serving, while empathic love is unconditional and selfless.
Empaths are more likely to give their time or resources without expecting anything in return, which can make them seem like an easy catch for narcissists who don’t value reciprocity.
Empaths appear caring and attentive as they’re able to sense what other people need. And this is actually the main reason narcissists gravitate toward them; they know that the empath will be willing to meet their needs even without being asked directly.
5. The Empath Lacks Boundaries, The Narcissist Breaks Them
Empaths tend to have trouble setting boundaries because they want so badly for everyone around them to be happy and satisfied; they want to ensure that everyone else’s needs are met before their own.
They do not like conflict or confrontation because it makes them feel uncomfortable and stressed out.
Narcissists are notoriously good at taking advantage of this. They have no trouble breaking down the empath’s boundaries to get what they want.
Narcissists are just too focused on what they need in order to feel good about themselves. They will push past any boundary set by their partner without considering how this might make them feel. At the end of the day, it’s not that hard to see why this type of relationship is so toxic.
Narcissists tend to gravitate toward people with low self-esteem because it makes them feel good about themselves, and empaths tend to have low self-esteem because they often feel like they have no control over their own life since they are so focused on helping other people.
When these two personalities enter into a relationship, it makes for a magnetic, yet highly dysfunctional union.
Over time, the empath becomes emotionally exhausted because they feel drained by the narcissist’s constant need for attention; and the narcissist ends up feeling suffocated by the empath’s continuous attempts to “fix” them and the relationship.
Once the rollercoaster ride is over, the empath usually walks away wiser, stronger, and more cautious about who they give their time, energy, and love to; while the narcissist walks away looking for their next victim.
Thanks for reading!