10 Bad Habits That Destroy Your Confidence
vemuda.com - Self-confidence is one of those intangible things that's hard to define, but you know it when you see it. It can be thought of as a feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities, and judgment; and it impacts nearly every aspect of our lives including how we feel about ourselves, how others see us, and how we perform in school and at work.
Although a lack of confidence can be the result of debilitating social anxiety or other mental health conditions that influence one's self-perception, it’s not always the case.
You might not even realize that you have some subconscious habits that are actually destroying your confidence.
Let's take a look at some of these tendencies and behaviors so you can learn to recognize them and get started on building healthy habits instead!
1. Neglecting Your Appearance
You already know the importance of good hygiene and that you should take care of your health and appearance.
And one of the most important things to be aware of is that when you neglect your appearance, you're essentially showing disrespect for yourself.
Furthermore, if you don't feel good about how you look, then your self-esteem is going to take a hit, especially when it comes to social situations.
It may seem like a superficial point, but properly caring for your appearance can really go a long way toward building your self-confidence.
2. Obsessing Over Minor Flaws
When you look in the mirror, are you quick to notice any minor flaw in your appearance? Do you get stuck on this flaw and magnify it in your mind until it feels like it's all you can see?If so, you need to stop!
This practice is toxic for confidence. Even if you think you're just being honest with yourself, viewing your flaws with hyper-focus can cause you to despise what you see.
When this happens, your attention shifts from admiring all of the things you love about yourself to constantly scrutinizing everything you think is wrong.
This ritual of self-criticism leaves you feeling sad, inadequate, and ashamed. Not the best atmosphere for a confident mindset.
Instead of obsessing over minor flaws, try putting that same energy into seeing the positive qualities in yourself.
It may feel strange at first; after all, positivity is often hard-won when cynicism has become a habit.
But as with any new habit worth developing, daily practice will transform how you feel about yourself.
3. Talking About Your Perceived Weaknesses
There's a fine line between being self-deprecating and taking it too far. While self-deprecation is meant to show that you're a normal person who doesn't take yourself too seriously, it can, in some cases, come across as insecurity.
Besides, if you constantly make negative comments about yourself, people will notice and either grow tired of hearing it, or start thinking that maybe you're actually not as great as you seem.
If you must discuss a weakness for example in a professional context, like a job interview, frame it as an area for growth.
It will show that while there are certain things you can improve on, there’s a willingness and desire to learn new skills and excel in more areas than just those that come naturally.
4. Over Complimenting Others
When you over compliment others, you are essentially telling them how much better they are than you.
Of course, it is important to build others up, but if you do it too much and make yourself out to be a small fish in comparison, then you will start to believe this narrative.
Instead of repeating this cycle of over complimenting others and demeaning yourself, take the time to appreciate your own gifts and talents.
Remember that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. In fact, if we are all alike, then none of us would stand out in the crowd!
Each one of us has something special that makes us unique, so don't forget about your positive traits.
5. Believing Your Negative Self Talk
If you're like most people, you likely experience negative thoughts about yourself from time to time. Unfortunately, it is much easier to believe the bad things we tell ourselves than the good ones.
And over time, this type of thinking only lowers your self-esteem and confidence, making it harder to believe in yourself and achieve your goals.
While positive affirmations can help undo some of these thought patterns, even more helpful is learning how not to take your negative self-talk too seriously in the first place!
It will allow for a more objective perspective on life, leading you down a path toward greater happiness overall and, therefore, more confidence.
6. Excessive Apologizing
Do you ever find yourself saying "I'm sorry" even when someone else bumps into you? While apologies can be powerful and important, being too polite or saying sorry all the time, can actually hurt your confidence.
Excessive apologizing can make you seem unsure of yourself as though you have no faith in your abilities or decisions.
You shouldn't apologize for things that you know aren't your fault or for something that you don't feel sorry about. Doing so, you put the blame on yourself, and lead others to think that you are at fault.
Apologies should be given when they are called for; otherwise, they lose their effectiveness and meaning.
7. Letting Others Make Decisions for You
You can't be confident if you don't know what you want or don't believe that your opinions matter. Confidence is built by expressing your desires in honest, empowering ways.
This can only happen when you listen to yourself, trust yourself, and follow through on things you want in life.
When someone is telling you what they think should happen, or pressuring you into doing something they want instead of considering your needs or worse yet, they try to control or manipulate you, your confidence will suffer for it.
8. Lowering Your Standards
Lowering your standards to be okay with whatever happens means accepting less than what you deserve. Sure, lowering your standards will make things more comfortable or convenient for you.
And while it might be an easy solution at the moment, it won't help your confidence in the long run.
In fact, lowering your standards, lowers your self-worth and causes more problems than it solves.
It’s also a slippery slope; once you start doing it for one thing, it becomes easier to do it for others as well.
We may not all hold the same values, and that's okay. But if you have a set of standards and stick to them, it will make you happier and definitely more confident.
9. Maintaining Toxic Relationships
When it comes to being confident, the relationships you have in your life play a major role. That's because everyone around you affects the way you think and feel about yourself.
The people who are closest to you, your family, friends, co-workers, and even acquaintances, all have an impact on your self-esteem. If those around you are constantly criticizing or belittling you, your confidence will diminish.
So take a step back and consider whether your relationships are healthy for both parties involved, especially if your confidence has taken a hit as a result of being with these individuals.
In order to be confident and assertive, it's important that you surround yourself with positive people who care about your well-being as much as their own.
10. Comparing Yourself to Others
We've all been there. You're caught up in your social media feed, and you start to notice that other people are reaching milestones faster than you.
Maybe they have a nicer house, a better job, or they’re happily married while you’re struggling with dating.
You feel jealous, insecure, and maybe even angry that these people have something you don't.
But wait! Is it really as bad as it seems?Comparing yourself to others is normal human behavior; we're wired to notice differences and make judgments.
But if left unchecked, this habit can be destructive to your self-confidence. It can leave you feeling envious or resentful of the accomplishments of others.
Try instead to focus on what sets you apart in a positive way. And remind yourself that everyone’s path is different even if they look similar at first glance.
These bad habits are all markers of low self-confidence. While some of them may seem harmless, they can cause considerable damage if ignored for long enough.
The trick is to recognize these pitfalls when they happen. With practice, you'll be able to substitute a positive thought or behavior each time one of these bad habits pops up.
Thanks for reading!