7 Secrets Narcissists Do Not Want You to Know

vemuda.com - Narcissism can be defined as an excessive  preoccupation with one's own needs to the point, that the individual becomes oblivious to the needs of those around them. 

If you've ever been in a  relationship with a narcissist, you already know it's not an easy thing to deal with. These people are manipulative, self-centered, and often emotionally abusive.

Source: unsplash.com by Marija Zaric

They also turn situations around to make themselves look good while putting others down to accomplish their own selfish goals. 

When it comes to narcissists, the best defense really, is knowledge. And one of the best ways to understand such individuals, is to learn things about them that they don’t want you to know! 

So here are 7 things narcissists desperately try to hide from others:

1. They're Not as Confident as They Seem

Looking at narcissists, it may seem like they have it all together, but the truth is that they are not nearly as confident as they want you to believe. Deep down inside, these people are insecure about themselves.  

They form a façade to hide behind by pretending to be someone else who is loved and admired by everyone around them. 

Narcissists don't want anyone knowing about their real selves, because it would make them feel weak and inferior.

2. They See You as an Object, Not A Person

Narcissists see other people as objects to be used, not as real people who deserve respect. They don't care about you personally; it's all about what you can do for them.

These people are not capable of forming genuine bonds with anyone because any "relationship" they have will always be transactional. 

They use others to boost their own egos, taking whatever they want, and then discarding them when there's no longer anything to gain from the relationship. The narcissist may completely devalue you, if they no longer perceive you as useful.

3. It Doesn’t Hurt Them to Hurt You

Narcissists are incredibly self-absorbed. They don't care how others feel and they don't experience regret. They even say and do things to intentionally hurt you! 

When these individuals get angry, they attack your character, belittle your emotions, or invalidate how you feel about something without ever apologizing or taking responsibility for their actions.

This lack of empathy is also why narcissists often have no problem starting conflicts. In fact, conflict excites them because it provides emotional stimulation that feeds into their sense of importance or superiority.

4. They Don't Know What Makes Them Happy

This will be one of the most difficult things for you to process, but it's true. Narcissists don't know what makes them happy or how to be happy. They're great at pretending to be; but if you look closely enough, their actions speak louder than words. 

They're trying to escape their own empty selves by participating in self-destructive activities and constantly seeking validation from others.

And they will go to extreme lengths to get that validation even if it means going out of their way to sabotage your life somehow, or using other manipulative tactics in order to feel better about themselves and their own lives.

5. They Are Intimidated by Your Success

As difficult as it may be to believe, narcissists are not happy about your success and  they’re definitely not proud of you. Their competitive nature means that they have to win at all costs and be the best at everything.  

They can’t stand seeing someone else get ahead of them in any way, and the thought of someone being better than them is truly terrifying.

The more successful you become, the more threatened a narcissist will feel about their own position in life. And this can lead them to try and destroy your reputation either through gossip, or sabotage.

6. They’re Afraid of Their Own Feelings

Narcissists can't be vulnerable and honest with anyone, including themselves. The reason for this is that being honest about  their feelings means accepting that they have weaknesses or flaws, which the narcissist cannot do.

It also means accepting responsibility for any pain they may have caused another person in the past or present; something they don’t want to do because it would mean admitting fault or wrongdoing. 

Narcissists want you to see them as strong and powerful, so they often resort to arrogant behavior. They treat others terribly in order to feel good about themselves and hide from the truth of their inner feelings.

7. It Breaks Them  to Not Have the Last Word

Narcissists need to feel that they have control over everything and everyone in their lives. And since one of their biggest fears is losing control, to get the upper hand, they will often use manipulation tactics such as the silent treatment, arguing, or making assumptions about your intentions. 

These people are also very sensitive to criticism, so they don't like it when you speak your mind. If you disagree with them or question them, they will quickly become defensive and on the attack. 

And if you turn a conversation around on them, chances are that your response will upset them more than anything because now they have no way of getting back at you without admitting defeat. At the end of the day, they would rather be right than happy at any cost. 

Narcissists can be hard to deal with be it at work or in your personal life. But don’t let them make you feel guilty for knowing the truth about them. 

They may not want you to know these things; but learning about their secrets can arm you with the knowledge you need to stand strong  and protect yourself and your sanity.

Hopefully, this post has given you some insight into how narcissists think. We’d like to hear about your experiences with such people.  

Also, what do you wish you'd known about them sooner? Share your thoughts and comments below!

Thanks for reading!