6 Mind Games Played by The Narcissist
vemuda.com - You probably know at least a few people who come across as self-absorbed and really full of themselves. The kind of individuals who would do anything and walk all over anyone to get what they want.
A person like this is a master of mind games and is best known for their manipulative behavior.
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I'm talking about the narcissist. They always want to be in complete control and use every trick they can to keep you off balance.
When it comes to any relationship, narcissists tend to have a rather adversarial approach which reflects on their interactions with you.
What's more, the narcissist's mind games are really effective. In fact, they work exceptionally well. So, you have to keep your eyes open.
Recognizing the following mind games they play can be a helpful first step in combating such toxic behavior.
This game is especially popular among overt narcissists because it allows them to exercise their grandiosity and use it as a weapon.
You see, the narcissist is good at displaying phony empathy, and they can appear to understand what you are going through.
This act causes you to let your guard down and to tell them about your problems, misfortunes, and feelings of despair.
But just when you think there is genuine give and take in your relationship, the narcissist pulls a gotcha on you; typically, when you're at a low point in your life.
They callously share with you everything about their next exotic vacation, their amazing new romantic partner, or a significant job promotion, making you feel even worse about yourself.
The narcissist's goal is to crush you, humiliate you, and make you feel small and inferior. They want to see you suffering and even envious of them because it further inflates their ego.
2. Wet Blanket
This is a game most often played by covert narcissists. The tactics used are different than gotcha, but the end goal is the same; to make you feel like absolute crap.
This time though, you're the one who starts the game without actually being aware that it's a game.
Because the narcissist appears to be interested in you, you feel comfortable telling them about some exciting news in your life.
But the reaction you get from them isn't going to be what you expect. They likely won't be thrilled about your good news.
In fact, it's terrible news for them because they believe that someone else's good fortune diminishes them.
If something good happens to you, it means it didn't happen to them, and they despise you for having something they don't.
So, after a bogus congrats, if that, the narcissist quickly transforms into a concern troll.
They will warn you about the dark side of your good fortune out of concern for you and your own good.
They just have to find a way to spoil it for you whether by putting you down somehow, by telling you why it doesn't count, or why it won't work.
Conflict is a predictable part in almost every relationship. And one of the most important components of conflict resolution is listening and seeking understanding. Anytime you confront a narcissist though, you will be met with hostility.
Whenever a narcissist has to self-reflect about anything, they use the boomerang communication tactic which refocuses the attention and discomfort on you.
They are chronically reluctant to accept their own shortcomings and will do all they can to avoid being responsible. They will blame, shame, and project.
Instead of recognizing that self-improvement may be needed, they prefer that you take responsibility for their behavior and feel ashamed of yourself.
4. Character Assassination
This is another fun game that narcissists love to play! It entails destroying your soul, ego, accomplishments, and whatever belief system you may have that differs from theirs.
In this game, they will try to make everything about you, including anything you do, a total failure.
They will look for any opportunity to remind you and anyone else who will listen that you are a low-life.
They shamelessly take all the credit for anything good that has ever happened, and they put all blame for anything bad onto you.
This allows the narcissist to confidently maintain the belief that you are an inferior person whose views and opinions are simply irrelevant.
5. Crazy Eights
This is perhaps the favorite game of narcissists. Anytime you challenge them about something, bring up past issues or behaviors, or expose them when they're doing something terrible, you’re labeled as crazy.
They tell you that you're confused, you don't know what you're talking about, they don't understand what you're talking about, or that you're just making stuff up to intentionally cause problems.
The narcissist straight up tells you that you're crazy and that everyone else thinks you're crazy too.
They'll swear they don't recall even the most memorable incidents, flat out deny they ever happened, and never consider the possibility that they might have forgotten about them.
This is a narcissist at their gaslighting best. By continually undermining your perception of reality, they make you lose faith in your own intuition, memory, and reasoning.
6. Heads I Win, Tails You Lose
While games usually have simple, objective rules for determining who wins and who loses, the most crucial thing to remember about this game is that no one but the narcissist knows the rules.
They get to make up rules as they go along; they are not required to inform you of the new rules; and they’re free to change the rules whenever it suits them.
Heck, you can even be penalized for breaking the rules even though they didn't tell you what they are!
Basically, you are doomed if you do, and doomed if you don’t. From the narcissist's perspective, the game's only purpose is to win by whatever means necessary.
So, in general, you should avoid playing games with a narcissist unless there is a rulebook and a prize that is worth the price you will pay to win. But, of course, narcissists tend to avoid such games since they have a chance of losing.
Thanks for reading!